From The Knot to The Nest!

While I'd like to claim that my long absence from PP was caused by alien abduction, or because I was performing some task both top-secret and essential to the protection of humanity as we know it, the truth is I was an noncreative loaf for the entire duration of time that has passed since the week before my wedding (Oct. 14, 2006) until this very moment! That might sound harsh, but it's a fair representation of how I've felt. At least towards the blogging activity. In all fairness I've produced quite a lot. I've edited tons of photos taken on our honeymoon, a great slideshow of which you can view on my myspace page: www.myspace.com/auttiesmalls , photos from various other locales and events, and kept up with the new music scene in the Indie/College markets. Yes, the fun of discovering a new band that helps you run faster and longer. It's just sad that there's been no record of it all on here. I'm not going to go on into another one of my "woe is me I'm so bad at this" posts. I'll just reiterate my continual disdain for my lack of fortitude in the blog department and move on. Next!

So to catch up.

We got married, went on a great honeymoon to Ireland, enjoyed the Holidays, lost lots of weight, celebrated the birth of numerous babies and have been to the weddings of two close friends as well as one Christening. AND we bought a house! On the other hand we have also lost two members of the extended family, had shake-ups at work where good people have lost their jobs or been given a difficult plate of responsibility, and there's always that pesky War on Terr-ah to ruin the collective buzz. But seriously, what a trip! Each one of these events deserves a post to itself, but as I haven't the time right now to do that I will instead focus on the overarching theme: Life is Beautiful.

Now before you glass-half-empty people hit the back button back to American Idol coverage, you should know... I HEAR YA! I see the same news as you, have the same feelings of uncertainty about the world around me as anyone else in the know, but I still have to say, LIFE is Beautiful.

CASE STUDY #1: I was reading just this morning about chlorine trucks blowing up in a market in Baghdad, and thinking about it in the cafeteria line and about how depressing that is, and what if Tara was in that market... and then in the other line I see this little girl, maybe 4 or 5 yrs. old, holding her mom's thumb with one hand and clutching a Hello Kitty plush toy that was maybe 1/3 her own height with the other. What really sealed the deal was the pair of opposing blonde pig-tails shooting out from either side of her head. Classic, heart-melting cuteness. That's Beautiful. What was I talking about? Explosions? No, wait, I remember...

CASE STUDY #2: Regardless of the painful negotiation, cuts, compromise, and worry associated with wedding planning, being surrounded by all your closest family and friends who seem genuinely happy for you and to be having a good time (due to previously-mentioned excellent event planning skills) is a Beautiful feeling not to be missed. Besides actually acquiring a fantastic wife/life partner, it's the best part of the experience. The music could have been better (see last post...) but thankfully no one seemed to notice or care, and the pictures came out great too. I'm telling you... Life is Beautiful! It's been months and I'm STILL riding that happy wave.

CASE STUDY #3: NEW Life is Beautiful! I've lost count of how many of our friends have had children in the past year (all boys, too!) and regardless of the events of the world (obviously I think a lot about them...) everything seems to stop for a baby. And realizing that this is UNIVERSAL everywhere in the world, every culture in every country, throughout the majority of human existence, is Beautiful. Sure, every dictator in history was once a coozy newborn, but no one thinks that when they visit a little one for the first time, they think of the future, maybe of Progress or Success... maybe they gush, or wax poetic on Hope or some other warm-and-fuzzy feeling. Maybe I'll find out someday when I have my very own 2.0, now that's a Beautiful thought!

CASE STUDY #4: Generous, loving, supportive parents are DEFINITELY a Beautiful thing to have in your life. Where/what/how would we be without them? Thank you FAMILY!

CASE STUDY #5: As much as I scream at the TV, screen, or paper about the goings-on in the world, especially here in the good ol'' U.S. of A., I still maintain that there is a Beautiful quality in the American Dream. Maybe not so much in American Policy, Politics, or Bullets, but definitely in its Dream. I feel very much a player in that dream right now, more so than I ever thought or ever deserved to be. And if you're not the type to care a hoot about anything other than who's leaving Dancing with the Stars this week, becoming a homeowner will make you more cognizant of the community surrounding you quicker than anything! Community awareness is Beautiful, especially if it comes with an aesthetically-pleasing view!

Regardless of my efforts to short-change myself, I find myself in a pretty Beautiful place right now. Moreover, I truly think that IF and WHEN one finds oneself in such an advantageous position, that, despite the government, despite (and in view of) the past and the pain and the loss that preceded one's present state of manic Euphoria, that one has to pause and enjoy the catharsis and try, if only for a brief time, to be content, to sigh a breath of relief that you made it this far, and cross every appendage in the hope that it lasts as long as it might... We worked hard, we stayed positive, and we earned this cozy-sunset-on-our-face moment, damn it!

Here's to Beautiful Living, and to a return to Procrastinating Perfectionism. It's been too long!